Casey Brown
Staff Writer
It is not even midterms yet, but many of my friends (mostly seniors like myself) have already had at least one severe anxiety and/or panic attack. As one of my friends, a fellow English senior, put it, “It feels like the end of the semester usually does, but it is only the beginning of the semester.”
For me, the “end of the semester” period is a five and a half week fog of deadlines and cramming for finals. During the first day of classes this semester, one of my professors commented that he has seen me at the end of the semester and I usually look pretty crazy. It is a craze that I have become accustomed to, though, after three years of practice. So far this semester the fog has yet to descend, but last week the paramedics were called because I had a meltdown at work, for the second night in a row.
Another one of my friends, a dual degree holder in her last semester at Cameron, once said that the end of a semester is like a game of Tetris. Each deadline, assignment and exam is like one of those funny shaped blocks. Those of us with enough experience at playing the Tetris game try our best to look at the end of the semester frenzy as expert level players in the game that is juggling school, work, family and everything else in between (such as washing our laundry and eating).
However, this year, the game of Tetris has already begun for many of us. A third friend, one who is constantly busy, regularly sends me text messages that say “I’m exhausted.” I’m exhausted too. We all are. We are beyond exhausted, in fact. During the third week of classes, another friend walked into one of our writing classes just before it began, handed me his homework and said: “I’m about to have a panic attack, so I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be in class today.” So where is this sudden pressure at the front half of the semester coming from? We have all made it through four to six games of Tetris at this point, so why the worry and panic-attack inducing level of frenzy so early? Well, most of the seniors across campus are hoping to graduate in the spring and then go to grad school or get a job in our chosen career field. For me and my friends that means a writing job. Heh. A fellow writing student describes this process by posting on Facebook, “Every time I so much as look at grad school websites my stomach goes into knots.”
We each daydream about walking across the football field in black caps and gowns. It is a dream we have been working towards for years. Each time we leveled up in a game of Tetris by completing a semester without dying, we moved one step closer to seeing the traditional fireworks at the end of the commencement ceremony. What is in between now and then? Well, we must select the schools to which we wish to apply, and then take the GRE, and fill out applications, write essays, ask professors for letters of recommendation, hope we have enough to include on our CVs and not die. All of that comes on top of our regularly scheduled classes, work, family, eating food on a somewhat regular basis and all of the extracurricular activities we attend (you know, for our resumes).
This year is unlike any other for seniors. Freshmen year was unlike any other because it was the first year away from home for many of us. Sophomore year was unlike any other because we had friends and started to get involved on campus. Junior year was unlike any other because we finally got to start taking electives and major classes, or finally decided on a major period. This year is a special year, and we would do well to not forget that, despite the chaos that surrounds us.
This year is similar to one other year, however; the senior year of high school. We have all been here before. I took a bit of a break in between high school and college – in the spring I will be going to my 10 year high school reunion and then my college graduation – yet I still remember this same level of anxiousness mixed with a fear of the unknown during 12th grade. This time around, though, I’m proposing we focus less on the fear of the unknown because we have indeed been here before. We’ve already been through this fear and ended up exactly where we were each supposed to.
It is only a few weeks into a new semester and most of us have already said we are ready for it to be over with. Yet when this semester ends we will only have one or two left at Cameron. I am not from around these parts (as y’all would say), but over the last four years the Sooner State has grown on me. Oklahoma is now officially a home-away-from-home for me. Why would I rush this year just to outrun the stress? I want to enjoy this year because it is my last at Cameron and in Oklahoma. Plus, senior year has to be more than panic attacks, CVs, and GREs.
Whether you are an underclassmen, an upperclassmen, faculty member, or staff: Be brave, my people. We can do this!