Dear Aggie,
My significant other wants me to have sex, but I’m not ready. It would be my first time ever. Should we break up? If not, how can I make this person understand that I am not willing to go there? It isn’t fair that I have to have sex with someone to keep the interest alive.
Sincerely,
No Means No
Dear No,
First and foremost, you should never feel like you are required to have sex with anyone. It is your body, and nobody can tell you what to do with it but you.
The first thing you would want to do is talk with your significant other about how you feel – if you have not already. The cornerstone of any relationship is open and honest communication, so find a safe and healthy way to talk about your concerns with your paramour.
If you have already talked with your person and the behaviors persist – or, worse, a sex-or-split ultimatum arises – then break up if you feel that is the safe and correct course of action. Your significant other should respect you and your wishes enough to not force this issue upon you.
It is a very unfortunate circumstance to feel an excess and unwanted pressure to have sex – especially when it comes to your sexual debut. Just remember that, in the end, it is your call to make.
Sincerely, Aggie
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