Kaley Patterson
A&E Editor
@KaleyKayPatt
Graduation is quickly approaching, and I do not know what to do with my life. There. I said it. Now please, stop asking me what my post-graduation plans are.
Growing up, I was dead set on being a marine biologist so that I could swim with the killer whales and dolphins at SeaWorld. Then, I found out I’m horrible at biology and that I genuinely hate theme parks. No, I have not seen “Blackfish” because I want some glisten of that dream to still shine.
After my childhood career aspiration drowned, I decided early in high school that I’d be an English teacher because I was good at it and because Hilary Swank inspired me in her portrayal of Mrs. G in “Freedom Writers.” At my core, though, I wanted to change people’s lives; I wanted to help them.
When I enrolled in college, I decided to go into psychology. My family had a falling out during my senior year, and it continued into my first year of college. I wanted to become a Christian family counselor. Again, deep down, I just wanted to help people.
After two psychology classes and the realization that I would have to be in school much longer than I wanted in order to obtain a piece a paper that allowed me to talk to people, I decided psychology wasn’t for me. The summer before my sophomore year, I was rattling my brain over what to do with my life. How am I supposed to make a decision like that at 19?
When the summer ended, I decided to major in communication. I had a dream that I was holding a transcript from Cameron – gray background, gold trimming, black letters – but the only thing I could see in bold was the word, “COMMUNICATION.” I don’t know if you can have epiphanies in dreams, but if you can, then I did when I finally picked a major.
Even though I switched majors a couple of times, I’m still graduating on time. The spring of 2015 is creeping around the corner, and it’s frightening me. It’s like a haunted house that I can’t find the exit to; I hate haunted houses and scary movies. Maybe I’m being a little overdramatic, but the future is freaky to think about because you can’t predict anything.
This semester, one of my professors has required everyone in the class to have individual meetings with him every two weeks to discuss the course of the class. To begin with, I don’t have time for this. I barely have time to have individual meetings with myself. Still, it’s for a grade, so I have to make time if I want to pass, get the class credit and graduate.
Recently in these meetings, we haven’t been discussing the class; we’ve been discussing my future career, my five-year plan. I can’t talk about that. I don’t even know what I’m going to have for my next meal. So, I threw out some quick-thinking five-year plan, like work at a local paper for a couple of years and then try to run with the big dogs at The Oklahoman or somewhere. Apparently, this plan wasn’t good because it wasn’t detailed enough, so I had to find the exact position I want after I graduate and what it requires.
Yes, this all has been helpful, but while doing it, I’ve become more and more anxious.
I’ve been in school for 16 or 17 years, and after I graduate college, that’s it – no more school. I could go to graduate school, but I don’t want to because I’m tired of school, and it’s expensive. How do you just stop doing something that you’ve done for practically your whole life?
When I call my mom and unload all of my panics on her, she simply tells me that I will find a job; it may not be the one I want or where I want, but I’ll find one. That does not comfort me. When she says that, I picture myself back home, working at the boutique I worked at in high school, and I’m living with my parents. NO. NO. NO. NU’UH. That can’t happen.
Then, she proceeds to tell me that she didn’t have a job until six months after she graduated college. That was the 80’s, people – a much simpler time where the music was free flowing and so were the jobs. None of that is soothing my anxiety, but thanks for trying, mom.
The focus of my major is public relations and my minor is journalism. One of the things I learned about myself while in college is that I can write, and I love doing it.
I’ve always been in love with the movie “All the President’s Men.” It wasn’t until college that I realized I could do something like Woodward and Bernstein. I could help people, even help America, with my writing. I want to pursue journalism, but I don’t know where or how.
The good thing about journalism is I can go anywhere. I’ve always been in love with the Pacific Northwest; I’d like to go there. I have family and friends on the East Coast; those places are pretty cool. A friend of mine wants me to move to LA with her after we graduate, but I didn’t like that place when I visited spring break. But, there is a piece of me that doesn’t want to leave what I’ve known as home.
There are tons of possibilities of where I could go and what I can do, but I need courage to do them.
I feel like the lion from “The Wizard of OZ” – I’m filled with fear, but I don’t understand that courage acts in the face of fear. Courage won’t come from some liquid drink Oz gives me; it will come from deep within myself. I have to look my future, my fear, in the face and say, “I may be scared of you, but I will conquer you.”
So for now, I’m going to enjoy the time I have left at Cameron. I’ve made some amazing friends here; I’m going to love on them as much as I can. I’ve enjoyed my education; I’m going to soak in whatever else I can. Truly, Cameron is every student, every story, but after I graduate, another story will begin. It’s always petrifying putting pen to page or fingers to keyboard on a new topic, but I think when the time comes, I’ll be ready.