Dear Aggie: learning to lean on friends

Public Affairs
Public Affairs

Dear Aggie,

I feel like my life is falling apart in various ways, but I’m afraid to ask anyone for help because I don’t think anyone can help me. What do I do?

Sincerely,
Feeling Alone

Dear Feeling Alone,

First, let me say that during this time in the semester, or anytime really, you are absolutely not alone in this feeling. Many CU students are feeling the pressures of course loads, homework, post-midterm and post-fall break adjustments, family life, and so on.

Also, I can understand that certain situations can feel as though the magnitude is so great that no one around you could possibly understand. Many people have been there as well. However, challenge yourself to look around you and see who and what you can lean on. You might be surprised at what you find.

Everyone has his or her own support network. Some people develop a large safety net of family, friends, and medical providers such as physicians and psychiatrists. Some people also find catharsis in watching a favorite television show or doing something physical like yard work or washing dishes. Furthermore, most people also have a routine for calming down and re-centering.

Look around and see who or what can meet a need. Maybe you need someone to listen to your thoughts about what is troubling; maybe you need to jump in a pile of raked leaves; maybe you need someone to drive you around; maybe you need professional advice.

Whatever you need- first assess the situation to determine your resources and then determine the best way to use those resources.

Last, remember that mental health is just as important as physical health. Thank you for being brave enough to reach out and ask for advice.

Sincerely,
Aggie


Dear Aggie,

I have a crush on a friend of mine’s recent ex-boyfriend. They dated for a year, but I haven’t been a friend with her for that long. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Uncertain

Dear Uncertain,
Romance is a tricky game we play. You could possibly have a new infatuation with your friend’s ex because he’s fresh on the market. So, make sure your feelings are true before you start taking action.

This is a difficult situation because you don’t want to hurt your friend’s feelings.
Your crush just got out of a pretty long relationship. He might still have feelings for her, and he might still talk to her every now and then out of habit. He is going to need some time to heal and to get back on his feet. Your friend might need that time, too.

If you really care about your friend and your crush, then I would recommend waiting to see how things develop. With time, your friend will move on and so will your crush.

If you can’t wait, then your small crush is nothing to be uncertain about.

Sincerely,
Aggie


Dear Aggie responses are generated in house by Collegian editorial members and do not represent professional opinion or advice. Tweet to @DearAggieCU, contact us by email dearaggiecu@gmail.com , or submit and anonymous message on the Dear Aggie Page.